When God created the world He created it out of nothing, but after doing so He had a little nothing left over
and wondered where He’d put it. Then He decided to make a nothing world and a door betwixt it and our world.
Then He put a lock on the door, so no one could find the nothing world, because life and nothing are not very
good friends, after all. Then God found that He must create a guardian of the lock, so that no evil being might
force it open and so He created the Lolilocks, or Key People, as we have named them. This is the story of how
man discovered the existence of the Lolilocks and it is all due to a little girl named May.
May was the daughter of an innkeeper in a time when boys grew up to be knights and girls wore long dresses
and glass slippers. She had always seen the pretty princesses ride in their fairy-like coaches on the way to
their castles, and every time she saw one she would sigh and say, “Oh, how I wish I were a princess.”
One day a thief stole all of the innkeeper’s money, and because he did not own the inn, but rather had been
lent it by a lord of some high standing in the king’s court, he feared that he and little May would be soon
evicted. He decided not to tell May, but one night she overheard her father praying to the Lord that he and
May might not be cast out, and that their landlord might have mercy on their dire circumstances. May then
knew that if they did not find money enough to pay the landlord’s rent, that she and her father might become
beggars in the streets, and would forever remain so.
So little May, not really knowing at all what she could do, decided on the one thing that made perhaps the least
sense: she ran away to find a fortune with which to pay the rent. She took with her an old key which had been
given her by her father, who said it had been her mother’s a long time ago.
After a day of traveling, little May came upon an old castle and decided to knock and ask lodging. The
gatekeeper was not in a particularly good mood, so he had every intention of sending away the door-knocker
empty-handed, but when he saw how delightfully pretty a child stood there, he found he could not refuse her
lodging. May then came inside and the gatekeeper introduced her to the king of the castle, who also admired
how pretty the girl was. He told her she may go anywhere in the castle she wished, as long as she did not open
any doors which had the letter ‘L’ carved deep into the wood. Little May promised, and soon after being shown
to her room, fell fast asleep.
Sometime around midnight, however, she awoke. Within her little sack there came a bright glow and May
wondered what it was. Upon opening the sack, she found that it was the key which was glowing so brightly.
She then took it up and, being a child, did not wonder over it, but merely held it before her as she began to
explore the castle.
A half-hour later she came upon one of the very doors which she’d been told not to open. Being a child, and a
very curious one at that, she paid no heed to the warning and tried to open the door. She found it would not
budge. Then she tried her key and the door opened. Upon entering the room, she found a marvelously vast
array of machinery, but this was not so curious as the little creatures who busied themselves in, around,
among, and on top of the machinery. They looked exactly like little men: some bore hammers, and some chisels,
some pickaxes and some actually were dressed like statesmen. She knelt down and asked the little men,
“Oh, little men, little men, what art thou?”
“We are the Key People, the Lolilocks proud.”
“What do you do here, day in and day out?”
“Build we our locks we then barter about.”
“Why do you this, then, which seems a task vain?”
“Turn a key in our locks, then turn again.”
“Why, I still ask, do you do this thing?”
“What, besides questions, is it that you bring?”
“Only a golden key, given me long ago.”
“Who gave it, and when? Do this key, us show.”
“Here, see it now: all gilded so bright.”
“Given by whom? When saw you this sight?”
“By my dear mother, passed now is she.”
“Oh, fair young maiden, a Lolilock was she.”
And so it was that little May discovered the existence of the Lolilocks and of her own true heritage. Though this
story may seem to defy reason in some parts, I assure you it is true, to the very last word.